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The Twelve Steps:
A Guide for Living Faithfully
This is the eighth in a series of short essays by members of the
Faith Partners ministry at House of Hope on the Twelve
Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, how they serve as the basis
for recovery from many addictions, and their application to
people of faith.
The eighth step is: “We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”
Luke 6:31 tells us “Do to others as you would have them do to you” and II Timothy 1:7 reminds us “for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.”
People who suffer from addictions, whether to alcohol, drugs, gambling, eating disorders, or compulsive sexual behaviors, hurt other people, especially those closest to them. They don’t want to hurt others and they don’t want to be hurt, but they are out of control. Those suffering from addiction get so caught up in trying to hide their problems and emotions that they turn to the addiction to temporarily escape from their problems rather than face the embarrassment or shame of their perceived inadequacies. They are viewed by others as secretive, dishonest, unreliable, inconsistent, and sometimes even abusive. In extreme cases they steal from others, sometimes become violent and coercive to support their addictions; they may become neglectful and ineffective in their employment; distant and avoiding in their relationships. They start to blame others for their problems and even their addiction, which pushes people away from them. Some even blame God, and turn away from Him. As part of the recovery process, it is important that they stop blaming others and understand and take ownership of their behaviors, the damage they caused and the impact that their behaviors had on others. In doing this inventory, it is quite common that the addicted person to feel guilt and remorse for their actions and sometimes even become depressed in these revelations. Therefore it is important that they move into the next step.
—Mary Cardinal Peterson
House of Hope Faith Partners Team Ministry
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